From. Through. To. HIM.

I wish I could hold you and tell you everything is gonna be alright. I heard what you went through. You don’t even know. I keep thinking how you must wonder how, if there’s a God, He could let it happen. I wish, sweet one, with all my heart, that just for a moment that I could give you my heart and let you feel and see and taste what I have: that He is infinitely good. I know that more now than ever before. And that’s after the anxiety, after the broken friendships, after the failings, after the watching of family members make heart-wrenching decisions that I wish I could turn back. It’s after the heading into the unknown because I think that God is leading and finding myself in the midst of it disillusioned, bitter, and wondering what hope and joy even are. It was then that He met me in that place and showed me that hope is not an idea or an act of the will. Hope is a person.  Jesus Christ.  Conqueror of death and sin and giver of new life: knowing Him.

With a heart full of thoughts, ideas; contemplating what God has done and is doing, I head down to the beach to get some exercise.  Beside the created waves, I’m running along the sea-line.  As my heart rate increases my eyes catch a joyful scene:  A dad is flying a kite high in the sky, with his little son running along beside him: completely naked.  I smile to myself and think about the excitement of this little boy.  He is so enraptured by his surroundings; so caught up in what his dad is doing, he is willing to have joy that is honest and vulnerable.  He is more concerned with fully living out his joy than in being concerned about what others may perceive. “Oh to be like that little boy,” I think to myself.  Oh to be so overcome with what my Father is doing that my participation and joyful thankfulness flow out in unashamed vulnerability.   My thoughts continue and I remember the comparison of the Spirit to the wind.  We can’t see the wind.  We don’t know where it comes

What a gracious God we serve. So often, though, His grace is so deeply embedded, we cannot see it within His acts until we stop and peel back the layers. Like the Israelites being led out from Egypt.. “Now when Pharaoh had let the people go, God did not lead them by the way of the land of the Philistines, even though it was near, for God said, ‘The people might change their minds when they see war and return to Egypt.’ Hence God led the people around by the way of the wilderness to the Red Sea, and the sons of Israel went up in martial array from the land of Egypt.” (Exodus 13:17-18, NASB) I can just hear the people... “Why are we going the long way!?” “God sure likes to make things hard on us.” And I can hear myself... “What was the point of that?” “Why would God sidetrack me for that time in life?” “Does God enjoy just making things difficult for me!?” But in fact it’s often in the seemingly unnecessarily difficult times that the grace of God is at