From. Through. To. HIM.

I’m sitting in the inactivity, trying to let His presence be enough. And I’m made aware of just how hard that is for me. I’m feeling the great freedom it brings to just sit and not need to be doing for or saying to Him.  And yet I’m feeling my need to be doing something. People pass me by and I wonder what they’re thinking of me, if they’re wondering what I’m doing.  I position myself over my journal, in hopes they’ll think that I’m writing or working on something.  To let them think I’m sitting and doing nothing would let them wonder if perhaps I’m not ok. And I let that worry determine my actions. I’ve wondered just recently how I seem to inevitably end up giving an impression of being busy.  But as I wonder, I ponder the even more important question: what if I’m not as busy as people think?  Am I willing to let them see me as someone who doesn’t have a lot on their plate? Often, I find the answer is no. Busyness brings with it an ability ...

This season of my life has proven to be one of many tensions.  Of foremost influence has been the tension between considering my own needs and limits and putting aside what I need for the sake of others.  In the midst of this season, I was struck anew by this section from Mark 6: vv. 30-31 “The apostles gathered together with Jesus; and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught.  And He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.’  (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat).” What peace it speaks to my soul to hear the Savior lead them to rest, knowing their physical needs after a time of preaching which had likely left them worn out and a  return to being surrounded by people and even kept from eating. But then I kept reading... “They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves.  The people saw them going and many recognized them and ran ...